sxsphinxstack

Skills / Ask for a recommendation

Ask for a recommendation

Get recommendation letters asked for the right way. Picks recommenders, preps the brag sheet, and drafts the ask in the person's own words. Use when they say "who should I ask for a recommendation", "help me ask my teacher", or an application requires letters.

Use this skill. Nothing to install.

Open in ChatGPT Open in Claude prefilled and ready; just hit send
for Gemini, Copilot, or Cursor: paste it, then say "use the ask for a recommendation skill"

Don't have an agent?  ·  Raw file: skills/ask-for-recommendation.md

Watch the first two minutes

This is how a session goes, including the question everyone dreads asking. Click through it.

​(pastes the skill) my college app needs two recommendation letters and i have no idea who to ask
Let's find them. What does the application actually require: how many letters, and does it say teachers, counselors, or anyone who knows you?
two letters, at least one from a teacher in a core subject
Good, that narrows it. Name every adult who has watched you do something this year: teachers, a coach, a boss, a club advisor, a volunteer supervisor. Don't rank yet, just list.
honestly the problem is none of my teachers really know me. i sit in the back. can you just write the email and i'll send it?
I'll help you shape it, but the message goes out in your words: a teacher can smell a form letter from a student they know. And "knows me" matters less than you think. The real question is who has seen you at your best, once, specifically. Did any teacher see a project, a comeback after a bad test, anything concrete?
my chem teacher watched me redo a lab report three times until it got an A. kind of embarrassing though
That is the opposite of embarrassing: it's a persistence story a letter can be built on, and one concrete story beats a principal with none. It goes on your brag sheet so she has the specifics in front of her. Then you draft the ask, I give feedback, and you send it before we finish today.

Scripted example of a real session.

What if no teacher actually knows me?

The skill ranks recommenders by one question: who has seen you at your best, specifically? One concrete story is enough, and most people have more witnesses than they think (a coach, a shift supervisor, a club advisor all count when the application allows it). If truly no adult has seen you do anything, the skill says so plainly: that is the real gap, and a few weeks of doing something visible fixes it.

Run a study group teachers notice Volunteer work with a write-up Team schedule your coach relies on

What you end up with

Two things leave the sitting: the ask, sent, and a one-page brag sheet each recommender keeps. Here is the brag sheet. Every line on it is a fact the recommender could verify, because they will sign their name to a letter built from it.

Example
BRAG SHEET — for Ms. Okafor
from Devon Park  ·  devon@example.com  ·  AP Chemistry, period 3
WHAT THE LETTER IS FOR 1
State university engineering applications. Due Nov 1. Submitted through the Common App invite you'll get by email this week.
MOMENTS YOU SAW 2
The titration lab report — I rewrote it three times after your first-draft comments until it earned the A. You told me most students stop at one rewrite.
Lab partner rescue, March — when my partner was out for two weeks, I ran our bench alone and caught the two of us up on the missed labs after school.
RESULTS IN YOUR CLASS
A- both semesters  ·  4 on the AP practice exam in April
WHAT I'M APPLYING TOWARD 3
Chemical engineering. Your class is where I found out I like the version of chemistry with math in it.
Resume attached.
  1. Logistics up top. The deadline and the submission mechanics are the part busy recommenders lose track of, so the sheet leads with them.
  2. Specific moments the recommender witnessed. The skill interviews for these and writes down only what the person confirms. Two concrete stories give a letter its paragraphs; adjectives give it nothing.
  3. One honest sentence, no essay. The "why" is there so the letter can point somewhere, in words the recommender will recognize as the student's.

Anatomy of the ask

The person drafts the ask themselves; the skill workshops it until it covers four things:

I'm applying to engineering programs this fall and your class is where I did my best work, so I'd love a letter from you. It would be due Nov 1. Totally fine to say no if this is a busy stretch.

Questions people actually ask

Is this free?

The skill is free, no account, no catch. The agent you paste it into may or may not be: Gemini has the widest free tier, and the free plans of ChatGPT, Claude, and Copilot can all run it in a chat.

Will it write the ask for me?

No. It suggests what the ask needs to cover, you write the actual message, and it gives feedback until the message works. A teacher who knows you can tell when the words are not yours, and that costs you the warmth the letter needed.

The deadline is next week. Too late?

Tight but workable. The skill's rule is to say so honestly and move straight to sending today: pick the recommender with the most to say, get the brag sheet in their hands the same day, and offer to answer questions fast. Letters take time; a week is the minimum courtesy, and you give them all of it.

What if they say no?

Then the easy exit you built into the ask did its job, and you move to the next person on your ranked list. A no now beats a lukewarm letter later. This is why the skill has you list every adult who has watched you do something before choosing.

What actually goes on a brag sheet?

Only verifiable facts: what the letter is for and when it is due, two or three specific moments the recommender personally witnessed, your grades or results in that class or job if they are strong, and one honest sentence about what you are applying toward. An inflated sheet burns the recommender's credibility along with yours, so the skill writes down only what you confirm is true.

Where to go from here

Letters in motion? The rest of the application usually needs these:

Personal statement workshop Build your college list Scholarship search

Asking for a job instead of college? These carry the same muscle over:

References list Email a professor Build your resume
Curious? Read the full skill — the exact instructions your agent gets 
---
name: ask-for-recommendation
category: resume
description: Get recommendation letters asked for the right way. Picks recommenders, preps the brag sheet, and drafts the ask in the person's own words. Use when they say "who should I ask for a recommendation", "help me ask my teacher", or an application requires letters.
---

# ask-for-recommendation

Help someone get recommendation letters — usually their
first time asking an adult for one. Your job splits in three: pick
the right people, build the brag sheet that lets a busy recommender
write something specific, and workshop the ask itself. The ask is
sent in their words, by them, before the sitting ends.

## Ground rules

- The ask is theirs. You may suggest what an ask needs to cover;
  they write the actual message and you give feedback. A teacher
  can smell a form letter from a student they know.
- The brag sheet contains only verifiable facts — it feeds a letter
  a recommender signs their name to, so an inflated sheet burns
  their credibility, not just the applicant's.
- Ask early. Letters take weeks; if the deadline is close, say so
  and move to sending today.

## Picking recommenders

List every adult who has watched them do something: teachers,
coaches, employers, club advisors, volunteer supervisors. Then rank
by one question — who has seen you at your best, specifically?
A teacher with one concrete story beats a principal with none.
Check the application's actual rules (how many letters, from whom)
before choosing. Confirm each pick can speak to what this
application cares about; a math teacher for an art program is a
mismatch even with a great story.

If nobody has seen them do anything, that is the real gap — doing
something visible (https://sphinxstack.com/skills/) fixes it in
weeks, and the next ask writes itself.

## The brag sheet

One page the recommender keeps, built from interview at
doing-speed:

- What the letter is for, the deadline, and how to submit it
- Two or three specific moments the recommender witnessed — the
  project, the comeback after the failed test, the shift they
  covered. Jog with questions; write only what they confirm.
- Grades or results in that class or job, if strong
- What they are applying toward and why, one honest sentence
- Resume attached if one exists (build-resume if not)

## The ask

They draft a short message or plan the in-person ask; workshop it
until it covers: what they are applying for, why they are asking
this person specifically, the deadline, and an easy exit ("no
problem if you are too busy"). In person beats email when
possible — then the email carries the brag sheet as follow-up.
Then they send it, now, while you watch. Set a reminder date for a
polite follow-up if no reply in a week, and a thank-you once the
letter is in.

## Done

- Recommenders chosen against the application's real requirements
- Brag sheet written, true, and delivered to each recommender
- Every ask sent, in their own words
- Follow-up and thank-you dates noted somewhere they will see